Hupernikao Collective

This is Nikao (22, female, host) and Chase (18, male, alter). We live in the same body with about 8 others. We have dissociative identity disorder.

Update

It’s been a busy, exhausting couple of weeks. I promise I will reply to all your messages. I’m still here for you.

For tonight, Chase is being protective and making me rest, read, drink tea, and love myself. He knows how to take care of me.

I love you all! Self-care is not selfish, self-love should be priority.

- Nikao

Furious Rant Concerning Mental Illness

I met a “reality therapist” today.

First of all, he talked for literally 45 MINUTES STRAIGHT! I got all of three goddamn sentences in before I gave up trying to argue with him.

He doesn’t believe in medication. He basically tried to explain to me that people CHOOSE TO HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES!
That is the moment that I faked a smile and tried to get out of there as soon as possible before I shoved his weak theories up his goddamn ass.

Him and his ridiculous practice are a spit in the face of me and all of you, my dear friends. <3 I have personal experience with clear conclusive evidence that debunks his theories…

People choose to be depressed, huh? What about the girl who has struggled with depression and anxiety and PTSD and DID since she was 4, and tried to THINK herself happy and FORCE herself out of anxiety for 20 years?!

There is ONE thing I agreed with the entire 45 minutes I’ll never get back: people do make choices. Anger management is a choice. Anger itself? NOT a choice. Implementing healthy coping mechanisms to alleviate symptoms: choice. Mental illness itself: NOT A CHOICE.

My story: I wanted to be a pilot. I wanted to travel the world, see everything, take professional photographs, meet people, study cultures, rescue child sex slaves. I wanted to get married. I wanted those things more than ANYTHING. I should be well on my way to doing those things by now, and he’s telling me I traded ALL of my LIFELONG hopes and dreams for 7 mental illnesses???
I’ve wanted to do all of those things for as long as I can remember, but I barely have enough energy on a regular basis to TAKE A F***ING SHOWER every day.

We ARE victims of our mental illnesses. But that’s not ALL we are. We are also SURVIVORS of our mental illnesses. We are OVERCOMERS of our mental illnesses. It’s not either/or, it’s both/and.

This is why I’m going back to school to be a therapist.

*dramatic instrumental music playing in background crescendos and concludes*

Thank you.

- Nikao

0 days clean

justkeepgoing101202:

Shit. I tried. Im sorry.

Relapse is a totally normal part of recovery. You are still on an upward curve, regardless of setbacks. I, for one, am still proud of you for how far you’ve come. You’re doing great. <3

Anonymous said: i'm a very mentally unhealthy person; at age 13, i've been diagnosed with depression and suspect i have DID. i dont have many friends and cant keep them because hardly anyone in my age group can handle my issues. i understand where they're coming from, and this will sound very selfish, but i'm just sick of being alone...

That’s not selfish. That’s not selfish in the least bit, don’t think that. You’re sick of being alone, not because you’re selfish but because you’re a human being. Like flowers need rain and sun, people need companionship, or they’ll waste away.

13 is already such an excruciating period in life, but to add mental health problems must be so so so hard. Because of what you’ve been through, it’s completely understandable that you have a more mature mindset than most of your peers.

My advice would be to connect with older friends, then. And safe and wise adults you can trust. You can start with me. I would love to be your friend. I know you only wrote a couple sentences, but you actually come off as a pretty sharp person to me. Brilliant people are commonly lonely people.

We have a kik, an email, and I’ll even offer you my number for texting. Or if you just want to chat over tumblr messaging, on or off anon, that’s okay with me too. I’m here for you. You don’t have to be alone anymore.

- Nikao

It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, I still always feel like it’s 5am.

diggingupthepast2007:

This is how I feel about being myself around people. Every day &lt;3 It’s worth it, though. You discover inspiration within yourself.

diggingupthepast2007:

This is how I feel about being myself around people. Every day <3 It’s worth it, though. You discover inspiration within yourself.

(Source: inspired-for-lifee)

riceisholy:

Note to self: crying doesn’t make you weak

riceisholy:

Note to self: crying doesn’t make you weak

(via wesravenquill)

(Source: fitnesstipsonly, via pozitivitea)